Thousands of Density church members, clad in black shirts, marched on Parliament on Friday to voice their opposition to the "growing numbers of gay sheep".
The march was organised after a recent scientific study, published in the Journal of Endocrinology, demonstrated that some 8% of sheep displayed homosexual proclivities. The report, which discovered a link between homosexual orientation and the volume of oSDN cells in sheep, has outraged members of Density Church, who consider it to be evidence of moral decline amongst sheep communities."It's just not natural," Tamariki claimed in his address. "My grandfather was a farmer in the King Country in the 1950s, and he says there certainly weren't any gay sheep in his day. He told me himself that there was none of that sort of carry on amongst his flocks. So you have to ask why 8% of sheep have suddenly gone gay today.
"To my mind, there is only one reason for this," continued Tamariki. "Sheep are not being as strongly disciplined as in the past. Through lax standards, too many sheep are being given the run of the land, and have fallen into moral degeneracy.
The Density crowd were confident that tougher sheep legislation could put an end to this outbreak of ovine homosexuality."Yeah, sheep shouldn't be gay. Sheep are sheep," commented one of the marchers, Wiremu Johnson (aged 6).
"You know, Jesus was the Good Shepherd, and he sure wouldn't have let any of his flock go gay," commented Tamariki. "So if Jesus could have had 100% straight sheep, then so should we. Let's bring this country back to normality! Sheep are sheep!!"
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